My New Blog

I have created a new blog: "My Butter on Bread".



Since the boys are dead and gone I thought it only appropriate to move onto a new phase and a new blog. Feel free to come on over to the new blog and say hi!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I am very pleased to announce the confirmation of the death of Bill and Earl!

I had my PET/CT scan on Monday, June 25th and received the results yesterday and final confirmation from the doc today. We have been nervous, anxious, excited, and just about any other emotion over the past few weeks, that has grown daily until we got the results back. Even though we were confident that they were gone we need the reassurance from the scan that they truly were gone. What a relief! We can now say that I am in remission! Here is the crazy part, on December 26, 2006 I got the call that I had two malignancies in my neck - exactly 6 months later on June 26, 2007 we got the news that I am cancer free!

Since I last posted I have continued to work full time and started to live life with more normalcy. I have finished my physical therapy and now do strengthening exercises at home. My strength is at about 95%, my taste is at 99%, and my saliva is only about 60%. The hair I lost on the back of my head from the radiation has started to grow back; the hair that I lost on the top of my head before the cancer still is gone and hasn't come back! My neck has healed up very well and looks like a nice sun tan at this point. I still don't have whiskers in that area...hopefully it will stay that way! I really do feel really good! We have done more geocaching, most of them with a hike.

Today we were talking about getting back to a normal life but we have decided that it is not getting back to normal it is starting a new life after cancer. Many things change when you go through this experience that affect your thoughts and actions. I am including in this post the lyrics from Toby Keith's song "My List". It has some really good thoughts that we should all think and do something about. I really appreciate the time that I am spending with my family - not that I didn't before but it now has a much greater meaning to it.

"My List" - Toby Keith

Under an old brass paperweight
is my list of things to do today
Go to the bank and the hardware store,
put a new lock on the cellar door
I cross 'em off as I get 'em done
but when the sun is set
There's still more than a few things left
I haven't got to yet

Go for a walk, say a little prayer
Take a deep breath of mountain air
Put on my glove and play some catch
It's time that I make time for that
Wade the shore and cast a line
Look up a long lost friend of mine
Sit on the porch and give my girl a kiss
Start livin', that's the next thing on my list

Wouldn't change the course of fate
but cuttin' the grass just had to wait
'Cause I've got more important things
like pushin' my kid on the backyard swing
I won't break my back for a million bucks
I can't take to my grave
So why put off for tomorrow
what I could get done today

Like go for a walk, say a little prayer
Take a deep breath of mountain air
Put on my glove and play some catch
It's time that I make time for that
Wade the shore and cast a line
Look up a long lost friend of mine
Sit on the porch and give my girl a kiss
Start livin', that's the next thing on my list

Raise a little hell, laugh 'til it hurts
Put an extra five in the plate at church
Call up my folks just to chat
It's time that I make time for that
Stay up late, then oversleep
Show her what she means to me
Catch up on all the things I've always missed
Just start livin', that's the next thing on my list
Under an old brass paperweight
Is my list of things to do today

Wednesday, June 6, 2006

It's been busy having company here; not much time to post. I've been going to PT the last couple of weeks and still have some more to do until the neck gets back into shape. We're getting there with exercises, stretching and massage. It is getting a bit better every day.j

I scheduled my PET scan today! On Monday June 25th at 11:00 AM! 19 days and counting! The only bad thing is that I can't have anything to eat or drink (only water) for 6 hours before. I've gotten used to having my breakfast and a can of V-8 in the morning. Oh well! At 11 I'll get my cup of barium! Andrea can't even drink the barium - I didn't think it was too bad. I have my results appointment set up for Wednesday June 27th at 2:00 PM. I am going to have to keep really busy that day or the time will go so slow! In my head I am really confident that the boys are dead and gone; I have a great deal of faith in Lord, all the prayers everyone has given for me, the work of the excellent doctors and nurses and my bodies ability to heal. But still...it is a bit scary!

I am amazed daily how well that I am doing. I have to admit that I am not a full 100% in energy and stamina but, conservatively I can say I am 95% there. That 5% is more of the muscle that I lost during treatment. I will be back in shape before too long...fencing lessons will start in September and I don't want to look too bad! The taste gets a little bit more everyday and I am enjoying more and more tastes and flavors every day. The saliva is still dragging behind; it's better than it was and continues to get better it is just moving slower than everything else. It will get there!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

I haven't posted for a week due to being busy as all get out! We have some family here from Germany and have been entertaining and visiting with them. It has been a very busy week for me and the family. Last Friday (May 25th) our daughter graduated from high school. We had a get together for family and friends that evening to celebrate not only Jessica's success in completing high school but also a celebration of my success in completing my treatments. As always Andrea did an amazing job and I got to see some folks that I haven't seen in quite awhile.

Over the long weekend we stayed busy as well...maybe too busy! I feel so good that I forget what we have gone through over the last few months! On Sunday we drove down to Cripple Creek just to do some sight seeing and get out of town. We took the train ride on the Cripple Creek/Victor railway and sucked in some coal smoke. It was a short ride but interesting and enjoyable. We then walked around town for awhile, window shopping and going through the antique and curio shops. We stopped by one of the casinos that we had gambled at in the past as they have pizza there for $1.00 a slice (and the pizza is pretty good!). On Monday we went to the zoo and walked around looking at the animals for about 5 hours. It was a hot day and we really had to tank the water and keep the sun screen up. By time we got to the end of the sights I was feeling my stamina fade away. Duh! Not real bright sometimes! I don't suppose I can blame this one on chemo brain! We got home and ate some dinner and I didn't make it much past 8:00 before crashing out for the evening. In hind sight, I am a bit amazed that I was able to do as much as I did!

I was at PT on Tuesday for my neck...it got nuked pretty good through treatment! The muscles are really tight at the base of the skull and along the trapezoids. I got the neck massaged and received some exercises to do to keep it loose and happy. I'll go back for the second time today and two more times next week. I think I am going to be ready for a full body massage by next week!

Time to get off to work again. We have a lot going on so it is really busy mentally for me. That is a good thing and helps me really get back into the swing of normal life.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

First week of full days back at work! I am actually surprised by my stamina, I am really not wiped out. I guess it's not a full week since I won't be going to work tomorrow since it is Jessica's graduation. I have been meaning to post all week but when your on the computer all day the last thing you want to do at night is be on the computer! It has been a busy week all in all though for this house. The German relatives arrived on Tuesday night with their new baby; it's really great to have them here for awhile and spend time with us.

Wednesday we went to see the radiology oncologist for a check up. He gave me the all is good, can't feel anything in the neck, and I can't believe how well you are doing! Even though we have faith that all is well and the boys are gone, there is still a bit of anxiety and relief when they tell you all is fine. Later in the afternoon I had to go see the dentist for my first checkup since my treatments ended. He took xrays and did an exam. I have a filling that needs to be replaced and another tooth that looks like it is starting to decay. The doc said normally he would just say lets keep an eye on it but due to my radiation treatments he want to be agressive and fill it right away. Go figure, I don't go to the dentist for 14 years and have only one cavity and then get radiated and 5 months later I have two starting! They did trim back my floride trays so I don't gage on them and can use them! I am thinking my gag reflex will be ultra sensitive the rest of my life now after all of this! I go back to the dentist in mid June and the radiology oncologist in mid July.

I joined a yahoo group for folks with Head and Neck Cancer this week. There are quite a few people like me in the group. Some who are further along, some about the same stage, and some who are just starting. I am hoping to help anyone I can in any way even if it is just a supportive word or two. Having been (or should I say am still) there, we all can use an extra prayer or two to help us get through it.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I am still suffering from some cabin fever, probably from working from home in the afternoon last week. So, we decided to put the honeydo list aside today and go geocaching. We plotted our course, printed out the caches we wanted to do and headed out after we ate brunch. With all the moisture this spring the mountains are beautiful; the rivers are running pretty high and heavy but it is really beautiful up there right now. Everything is green and fresh and we even got rained on - it smelled really good! We completed 5 caches today and would have done more but we spent over an hour hunting for one cache that we could not find - we even had another family hunting with us! We all finally gave up and left! Another one we skipped was across the creek (which is running pretty high) and it started to rain (hard!)...really didn't need to get soaked or run from rising water or a flash flood.

It is nice to stop and smell the roses...even if you have hay fever. The things you take for granted! We really had a wonder day just the two of us and mother nature.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Wow! Over a week since I last posted. I started back to work this past week and it has been a very busy week. Once I get settled back into the workplace I will be able to post more often. It was nice to be back at work, another big piece of normalcy. It does help to get back into the swing of things. A lot has changed in the 3 months I was out and getting caught back up on the status of things and the things that have changed provides a good mental work out which I truly do enjoy. Andrea wasn't to sure about this, she has been taking care of me and we have done practically everything together for a good while.

I have had some other firsts this past week that are definitely worth mentioning. Last Sunday I had my first beer since January this year! It wasn't up to full taste but it was pretty damn good! I eat more and try more things to eat every day. I had my first Chipolte this week, a barbacoa burrito bowl - the mouth is like a baby right now as it lit me on fire! Before cancer treatment I didn't think it was spicy at all! I also had some chicken this week as well. For those of you who know my eating preferences, this is quite a shock as I have sworn off chicken for many, many years. My Mom made it in a chili sort of crock pot dish and since I said that I would try some things that I haven't liked in the past - being a survivor changes you thoughts on a lot of things - so...much to my Mom's and Andrea's delight I ate chicken. It was actually really good.

During the dark times of treatment that I don't remember too much, my Son had ordered me a Livestrong book from the Lance Armstrong Foundation. I barely remember looking at it then and have this week picked it back up and looked through it. There is a lot of good information in there touching on just about everything from first learning that you have cancer, treatment and post treatment. There are forms to fill out to help you track what you have done and where you have been and a large amount of good information for surviving the process.

Last Wednesday was Livestong Day and we had plans to attend a vigil down at the capitol building in the evening. Unfortunately, after not getting much sleep the night before because of a sick dog and needing to get used to the work day again, I was to damn tired for us to go do a lot of walking and standing. Next year I will be in much better shape for attending those type of functions. The Livestrong organization is an excellent resource for cancer survivors, their care givers, family, and friends to find information, help, and hope in the fight against cancer.